And the sun shawn
Today I wanted to, needed to, write. Bring out feelings and memories stirring. Give them space to move and breathe, to consolidate into a thing old and new at the same time. Poetry is not my thing. It is the bit I hastily jump over when it interrupts my reading. Today though it’s the only form that fit.
I sat down an hour and thirty ago. My tea remains at my side, untouched and cold. There is now a sense of wholeness a bit more complete than before. Rightness, space around something once tight. I share it in hope some flavour of this is yours to enjoy also.
Shawn
Curly blond hair
laughter ever present
fiery anger too
music imbued finger tips.
A complex spirit
in solid embedded flesh.
Friends
once best
three decades past
now something other
still connected, and not
Meeting again. Meeting anew
Laughing, smiling, hugging
sharing jokes
quietly aware of the pain beneath the sparkles
currents in darkness, felt more than seen or heard
in unspoken agreement we choose not to touch them
not a papering over, an avoidance
just quiet acknowledgment
there is no room in space-time
just now.
Fire hose of memory
streaming past, through, around
unsettling, mixing, stirring.
In the shed
gleefully distorted, distended, dishevelled
playing guitars
(some playing, me wishing)
Getting stoned, getting drunk
determined to be last awake.
Camping, fishing
smoking tobacco, smoking weed
Sun, mosquitos, rain, cold
Carrying on till the bear comes, and then some
Blowing bubbles in living room
laughing till cheeks and sides hurt, belly aches
not at all stoned
School daze
being called to task, sharply
‘That was the deepest kind of asshole! Asshole.’
In person denied.
Later, much later, admitted.
A psychological tyrant I was
in a guise of being helpful, of working it out.
Contributing moment to a parting of the ways,
a truth telling I keep to my heart.
Supplicating Creator,
Grandfather and Grandmothers of the Four Directions,
Mother Earth.
Darkness, hot smothering steam,
careful breathing, drumming, singing
sweating out the fear and pain of life.
The great Bear Fast.
I am helper, supporter. Shawn a faster
At end, shares Lesson Of The Fly
eyes shining, moved from heart
'No matter the obstacles keep moving. Right side up, up side down, doesn't matter, just keep moving'
I feel the experience power in him, for him
joy washes through
and pain. Missing out, because I don't, can't, share the heart experience.
The Medicine Man
Jokester, Teacher, Circle Builder
dies in our midst
We Wake
all through the night
celebrating his life and laughter with our own.
A necklace of moments adorning the circling paths of our lives
good footprints in our minds.
Shawn
close cropped hair
laughter ever present
fire passion ready if needed
music imbued finger tips
A complex spirit
in solid embedded flesh.
A friend.